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What It's Like Growing Up When Saying ‘I’ Means Being 'Ungrateful'

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themighty.com

I learned there are other ways to harm a child than from fist or kick. I had parents who believed “I …” was an ungrateful word.

I grew up with parents who did not welcome expression of individual needs, wants or desires. “I …” was an open criticism of them and did not appreciate all they provided for me. “I …” was not thankful or grateful enough.

I was taught to wish for different was shameful. I felt my shame turn to guilt for secretly still wanting my “I…” “I want never gets” was sometimes offered as a full-stop rebuttal to my childhood litany of “I want …” My wants are not important.

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