What Chronic Illness Has Taught Me About Doctors and Authority

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/narcissism-demystified/202009/13-fake-apologies-used-narcissists’https://psychcentral.com/blog/love-matters/2018/06/the-top-12-fake-apologies-and-what-makes-for-an-authentic-apology#4

At the time of his death, he was on top of the world, and these Biggie Smalls lyrics will take you back to a time when he was still here with us.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/labs/pmc/articles/PMC2645112/https://www.healthline.com/health/losing-a-parent#consider-support-groups

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201808/12-clues-relationship-parent-is-toxichttps://www.businessinsider.com/toxic-behaviors-parents-make-children-unhealthy-less-functional-adults

https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-womenhttps://www.clearviewtreatment.com/resources/blog/blog-signs-of-depression-in-women-you-should-watch-for/

https://www.mother.ly/parenting/330928-2http://www.ox.ac.uk/research/research-impact/grandparents-contribute-childrens-wellbeinghttps://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10826-019-01346-3https://www.aamft.org/Consumer_Updates/grandparents.aspx#:~:text=Being%20raised%20by%20a%20grandparent,cultural%20identity%20and%20community%20ties.

https://www.livescience.com/64779-night-owls-brain-connectivity.htmlhttps://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-018-08259-7https://academic.oup.com/sleephttps://www.inverse.com/article/53324-night-owls-morning-larks-study

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/201608/8-traits-the-most-toxic-people-in-your-life-sharehttps://www.webmd.com/mental-health/signs-toxic-person#:~:text=You%20feel%20like%20you’re,defend%20yourself%20to%20this%20person.

oversharing. Dr. Caroline Leaf, a communication pathologist and cognitive neuroscientist, explains more about this theory and how she helps people “grow their brains” with cognitive techniques.Oversharing is a fawn trauma response to avoid conflict and appease others.

Sometimes we need a few reminders to show us how tough we really are, and these badass quotes will be the ones to do it for you, rockstar.

wildlife rehabilitator and I’ve raised orphaned mice in the past,” Rachel explains.During colder months, deer mice like to build nests inside homes in rural or suburban areas. They’re especially attracted to homes in heavily wooded locations with protective vegetation and piles of firewood since these make great nesting sites. They may also build nests in warm barns, cabins, garages, attics, and other lightly trafficked areas.Since deer mice are so small, they can hide out for a while before anyone notices their presence.

road rage? There are all kinds of anger, and you need to learn what’s healthy and justified and what’s unhealthy and needs attention.Since the dawn of time, people have had a hard time getting their emotions in check. Even back in Biblical times, Cain killed Able, his brother, over jealousy in Genesis chapter 4, and it was the first recorded murder of all times. It just shows that humans are faulty when it comes to the emotional arena.

Imagine this: you come home after having a hard day at work and the first thing you notice when you walk through the door is that the whole place looks like a bomb went off.

research links negative attitudes to chronic stress, heart disease, cardiovascular disease, and high blood pressure, to name a few conditions. People today experience ill health for various reasons, many out of their control.However, we can control our attitude about life, which isn’t dependent on outer circumstances. For example, many people in third-world countries are happier than those in the Western world, which proves this theory.

There are many emotions and feelings that you experience as a new parent that only other parents can understand. As a new parent, you’ll certainly relate to the following baby quotes.

“The master leads by weakening their ambition and toughening their resolve.” ~Tao Te Ching

Like many fellow “Zebras” or Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS) patients, my diagnostic odyssey took around 15 years — from initial physical symptom onset to a formal diagnosis at age 35 last February. In those 15 years, I was repeatedly disbelieved, discredited, belittled, patronized, and gaslighted by the medical professionals who were supposed to be caring for me and helping me. Instead of helping me, they subjected me to unforgivable levels of iatrogenic harm — harm caused by the medical profession. Their lack of clinical knowledge, inability to manage complex patients, and downright ignorance delayed my diagnosis for years on end. By blaming my “mental health” for everything I experienced, they absolved themselves of any responsibility for finding out what was happening with my body.  For years, doctors didn’t believe that anything was actually physically “wrong” with me, and they repeatedly told me, “It’s all in your head.” My doctors told me that what I perceived were “physical” problems were categorically attributed to “psychological causes” as aftereffects of severe childhood abuse and trauma.

Most days, I wake up with this weight.

My whole world changed when I was diagnosed with chronic intractable migraine at the age of 16. I began dealing with struggles I never even imagined I’d have to deal with before. Chronic intractable migraines are often misunderstood, so let me provide a bit of background as to what that diagnosis means.

Dear pain-in-my-feet:

Level Up lessons in each chapter, we want what we’ve learned to be of use to you as your own struggles are reflected in our story. Together, we can expand opportunity in the in this country: America’s 30 million small-business owners.The truth is, neither one of us aspired to become entrepreneurs.

“When it comes to the future, I mean it’s good to be hopeful, but you don’t even need to be hopeful. You just need to be curious and let that curiosity drive you into wanting to see what happens next.”

As the crush of infections from the Omicron variant pushes the U.S. closer to population immunity, many health officials and politicians have begun using the term “endemic” as a synonym for some semblance of normalcy. But as media outlets churn out article after article about “learning to live with COVID-19,” one segment of the country that has felt ignored from the start of the pandemic has once again been left out of the conversation.

When I was a kid, I developed my own ways to cope with the health difficulties I was facing without knowing that’s what I was doing. These coping mechanisms were often seen by adults as funny quirks and silliness, but they were never really challenged or discouraged until I got older. For example, to cope with physical symptoms, I’d hang upside down, sit and lay down in strange positions, and insist on sitting when expected to stand for too long. And to cope with mental/emotional symptoms, I’d find isolated places to hide both indoors and outdoors, go for long walks, and always kept a notebook on me for doodling and writing. If I was unable to practice my coping mechanisms when I needed them, it would cause me a lot of distress and sometimes cause me to be noticeably ill.

The grief of chronic illness extends beyond grief over the loss of our health. We mourn the loss of our place in the world.

After I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I started reading a lot of books on the subject, mostly memoirs by fellow people with bipolar disorder. I was trying to learn more about the illness and perhaps feel less alone in it, and I did to an extent, but all the most well-known bipolar memoirs are by white people. Which is fine, I can relate to people who aren’t of the same ethnicity as me, frankly I find it weird that apparently a lot of people can’t… But even though I recognize myself in a lot of white bipolar memoirs, I will concede it is extra nice to read about the experiences of other people of color with bipolar and get to relate to them in more than one way.

This is my fatigue.

I was anxious prior to the six-year anniversary of my concussion — cruel anticipation finally leading to a shower cry. But I was fine on January 4th. Actually, I was great. I lay in bed with COVID symptoms, but the chills and muscle aches and fatigue didn’t faze me. I have spent so much time in bed resting with post-concussive syndrome that it almost felt like a relief to have an illness overshadow whatever this is. A different kind of headache, a comfortable kind of tiredness.

I remember attending my first counseling session after my stoma surgery and being told they couldn’t provide the right form of counseling via the NHS because I needed a form of grief counseling.

I have had chronic pain for 15 years. I was 13 when it started. In particular the past five, almost six years now I’ve had level 10 pain this whole time. I have full body pain and it never quits. I’ve bed bound for 10 years.

I know that if I tell people I’m glad I got sick, they will think I’m putting a positive spin on things. Of course, I grieved the life I had before, and everything that went with it. But going through a long and complex illness had led to an awakening of sorts. Suddenly, you are removed from a lot of the trials and tribulations of modern life. You have time to reflect on the system you were part of and the path you happened to be on, and what led you there. For perhaps the first time in your life, you have the space to get to know yourself inside and out. You question things. Were you happy? What does happiness look like for you? What kind of person do you want to be? What is your purpose in life? I’ve shed a lot of ideas I had about myself and about life in general, and for these revelations, I am extremely grateful. Let me explain what I’ve learned:

I’m used to living with mental illness, as I first started experiencing depression at 12 years old. As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned to live with my multiple mental illnesses (anxiety disorders, borderline personality disorder, unspecified bipolar disorder, an eating disorder, and depression). I’ve battled my mind for years but was thankful to not be physically ill.

My son can be described using a lot of words such as adorable, awesome, autistic, and amusing, but athletic is not one of them. He is the type of kid who can trip while sitting, bump into things a room away, and run into a tree while focusing on a bird. For these reasons, I’ve felt so lucky to live in a town that has baseball, soccer, and basketball leagues for kids with disabilities. These leagues help the kids learn the basic skills of the sport while creating friendships and camaraderie. These leagues are my comfort zone; my kid is out on the field with kids of similar abilities, I am in the stands with parents who share the trials and triumphs of parenting a child with a disability. During these practices, I can sit back and chat, or chase my other kids with full confidence that the coaches and volunteers know how to best help my kid and that there is no judgment from teammates or other parents.

It’s really shit when you have days, weeks, months when you don’t want to exist. It’s even more shit when you feel unable to talk about that feeling, for fear of the panic and upset that it might cause for those close to you or professionals you speak to. Society has taught us that feeling suicidal is irrational, frantic, urgent, scary. Sometimes it is all of those things, but often it’s fleeting thoughts, feelings of wanting to “disappear,” or having no feelings at all. It can be slow and passive and not look like wanting to hurt yourself or making a plan to. When I first had thoughts about finding it too hard to live with my chronic illnesses, I think I scared myself. I felt deeply guilty and people’s minimizations of my illnesses popped into my head.