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The Guilt I Struggle With as a Long-Term HIV Survivor

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The day before Thanksgiving this year will mark the 34 year anniversary of when I was diagnosed HIV+. Every year when this time arrives, I question why I am still here.

Although a part of me can celebrate my life and be so thankful every year for having another year, another month, another day still being here, I am also sometimes consumed with guilt — survivor’s guilt. “Why me?” Why am I still here and so many others are not?

I am part of a small minority who made it through the ’80s when AIDS was considered a death sentence and are still around to talk about it.

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