I’ve recently been reflecting on my relationship history and how often I did things I wasn’t comfortable with instead of speaking up.
It would be easy to solely blame the men I’ve been with, but I’ve recognized I played a role by remaining silent instead of communicating my wants and needs and telling them when they were pushing my limits.
I have played a role in my own disrespect by swallowing my truth and showing a smile when I really felt uncomfortable.
I realize that everyone’s experiences are different, but if you can relate to what I wrote, perhaps you might appreciate these reminders I wrote for myself.
Tell him that he hurt you.
Tell him that when he rolled over on top of you and penetrated you that you were not ready.
Tell him you froze. So thrown off by the quickness of his moves that you were in shock.
Tell him it felt like you were not present in your body.
Tell him that even though you kissed him and laid in the bed with him with your bodies close, you were not ready.
Tell him you were afraid to tell him these things.
Tell him that you have silenced your feelings for most of your life and were afraid to speak your truth.
Tell him you thought that he was the key that unlocked the door to your happiness.
Tell him you knew that if you kept having sex with him, he would keep coming around.
Tell him that you learned and that he taught you what it was you needed.
Tell him that you love him.
Tell that you understand that he could not see past his own desires.
Tell him you know the pain inflicted was not intentional; it was unconsciously embedded by society and personal desire.
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